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Support, help, advice & information for Multiple Sclerosis. Ask questions & share experiences with people affected by MS.





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One step forward...two back

Posted by lala , 03 June 2013 · 794 views

Hi, I am going to have a ramble, hoping it might lead me to the cause of my woes.

Just got back from a week in Cornwall, beautiful time, great weather, kids had a blast and i got to spend some quality time with the husband. Come back and after two days BUMP i am feeling low again.

So i don't know what is going on. It could be holiday blues, having to face the reality of looking after the children solo again
OR the fact i'm nervous about starting on Rebif, which should be happening in the next few weeks...
OR the fact my chest infection has cleared up, but i can still feel a rattle and hands still tremoring so don't know whether i should go back to the GP or not...
OR the fact that on Wed it will have been 12 years since my mum passed away...
OR the fact i have just started on an OU course in Psychology, which i am struggling to stay on top of and has made me acutely aware of how poor my cognitive abilites are these days, which in turn leaves me in a funk, fatigued with the whole idea of studying!

So it probably is a mix of all these things weighing on my mind, i thought writing it down and putting it out here might help me in a small way....we shall see! Think i need a good kick up the backside :banghead: ....It's always one step forward and two back lately.

Sorry if i sent you to sleep!! :yawn:

Lala xx



Lala, I'd be delighted to give you a kick up the backside. Unfortunately, I'd probably miss and end up, embarrassed on the floor.

it sounds like you had a great week down the West Country, but now, you've come back and smack headlong into a case of reality.

Try and put things in order of their value to you and therefore you'll find their priority.

Primarily, your kids have to be number one. They're a bit reliant on you for so many things.

Next comes you and your husband. A good relationship and your health being managed is pretty important. In that respect, adopting the Rebif is you being proactive in your management of your MS. Yes, you should go back to the GP, for your peace of mind and your husband's.

Your Mum passing away is something that we all have to deal with. It's good that you still remember her. Your kids need you to tell them about her too.

And finally, your psychology course comes in last. It's good to have an ambition. I remember in my work days, I had to have objectives and they had to be SMART :-
Specific
Measurable
Achievable
Realistic
Timely.

Have a word with the OU and let them know what you are dealing with and see what options are available to you.

It should be low on your list of values and priorities, but you need to get some perspective of where you are and what's important to you.

You're just asking yourself the type of questions that everyone asks at some stage in their mid-life.

Hope this helps

:moonieman:
Gosh Lala,
I am exhausted just reading your list! But Stumbler is right about prioritising things. Going back to studying is a challenge for anyone without the added complication of MS.
I think you need a hug - and maybe a kick as well!
Hope you are feeling more up soon.
Gill
Stumbler an others have said it all.  Don't be too hard on yourself, your immediate family and your happiness is priority.   so hugs to you and a gentle kick
Hi Laura,

It's always rubbish having quality time and then normality having to kick back in.....I get it even on days like today, when ashley has had a few days off then goes back to work. I wake up with his back to work blues before his alarm goes off.

It's difficult trying to gain perspective when you hit a low point. Everything becomes one big lump of stress. I used to be exactly the same, but I taught myself to look at individual problem s and tackle them one at a time. Firstly, something j have always recalled, is that when you have been ll, like yourself with this chest infection, it depletes you of so much energy. This energy isn't just physical, it messes up every system in your body, even the ability to think straight. The way you are feeling could be down to that, and having a great but tiring week away.

I think recuperating some strength is first and foremost on the agenda, then you can start tackling these niggling worries one by one. Also, trying to get back into the routine you had before with the boys will help things feel a bit more familiar and normal, it's always difficult after being out of it, but it won't take you long.

Once the routines kick back in, things like your OU course will fall into place within that routine. Your mind will be a bit clearer to tackle worries such as grieving for your mum and starting rebif.

You are bound to feel apprehensive about so many things, you have had a life changing diagnosis that changes how you have to  look at life. But you will get there. You have a loving family around you and people that care about you. Sound off on here as much as you want, and as I said the other day...you know where I am xxx
Ps, please don't beat yourself up too much (((big hugs))) xxx
Hi Everyone, sorry for the delayed reply...shortly after i posted this the broadband died on me...engineer has just been out to fix it.

Stumbler you are right, i just need to learn to prioritise what is important, and you are all right that maybe i'm being a bit hard on myself, that is just my way. I am feeling a bit brighter than i did on Monday..have spoken with the uni and they are going to give me some extra support..hopefully things will fall into place, they way they quite often do!

When i logged on and read all your messages i felt so overwhelmed, the fact that you all took the time to show me support means a lot to me, thank you all so much.

Lala xx
p.s) Thanks for all the kicks & hugs xx
Hi Lala,
Glad to hear you are feeling a built brighter today and it is good that the Uni are going to give you support.
I am sure everything will fall into place now. Good luck with your course.
Gill x

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