Sick of living in fear

BRAVO JAN.
                You make me feel better just from reading your blog.
I too keep trying to not let this win and with little steps keep making my own little victories. I have to confess sometimes it does win,so then i start again,you are so lucky to have your family around you,what bigger and better insentive is there than Anna.(i'll have to borrow her sometime) You keep at it,cos you're keeping me going too.
Bless you,

Cazza xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

There you are! 'Attitude' is a powerful weapon and you don't need me to tell you that Cazza has it spot on when she says she feels better just reading your words. They do the same for me!
Brilliant.............by the way 'just going to Durham' is not really 'just'  I've been wanting to go and see inside that Cathedral for many years but have simply never made it into that town! (Apart from whizzing past on the train!)

Just don't go and get over enthusiastic Jan.........keep your balance.

XX Nick

Oh Jan,

As always a lovely and heartfelt blog from you.

Your words and phrases are so helpful, not just for yourself but to us too.

The small steps and never trivial, in any condition.  A small step for some, is a giant leap for others and you inspiration in the face of adversity is compelling.

Your attitude is first class, and I'm sure that your family, especially the children really do appreciate and see just how strong you really are.

As Nick says, remember those decreasing spoons at all times, but keep the positive mental attitude going.

Scully
x

Thank you so much for the lovely comments.  You know I got up this morning in two minds about going out again, then I read your words and they spurred me on to just go for it.  So, I've had 2 days in a row doing normal, nice things.  Sunday lunch for me and my girl, followed by the cinema.

You're right about Anna, Cazza - she's like a breath of fresh air and can make me laugh when it's the last thing I feel like.  It's nice to feel like a real Mam doing normal stuff with her - and on a weekend too, when I quite often feel too unwell.

Durham Cathedral is pretty spectacular, Nick.  It was my favourite place ever as a child - I even had a postcard of the sanctuary knocker on my bedroom door.  The castle's lovely too.  Durham has quite a small city centre, half of it magical, half a bit grotty, and it's extremely hilly with cobbled paving - so worth a visit, but not the easiest of cities to get around.

Thanks Lori, I really don't always feel that strong - I seem to have very changeable moods, but underneath it all I'm still the feisty person I've ever been, and I can't let this beat me.  I will bear in mind those spoons, though, as you say.  I think I've maybe used my week's worth the last couple of days - but I can stock up through the week hopefully.  It was worth it to see Anna's happy face.  xx.

Hi Jan
One of the things about often feeling dizzy and off balance is that it sure does sap confidence, and can make it scary to venture out.  I've been there myself for many years and it's something I still struggle with and the what ifs?
  By doing what you have been you're keeping your confidence growing and that's really half the battle
There will be days when you can't make it, but those will pass and you'll find your confidence again, if you just do little and often when you can.

Chris, me too.  I still worry that I'll have a bad dizzy spell when I'm out, and still don't have the confidence to venture far by myself.  I suppose that'll be the next big step.  I've even had CBT where this was addressed, which I try to draw on, though it doesn't always work.  Thanks, Chris, I'll just keep doing things when I feel able as I have been - that way it'll keep the confidence going and the family happy.  xx.