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angeltess

how to stay positive?

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angeltess

Hi, I'm trying really hard to remain positive, having had loads of good advice on here. I read all the posts, and know loads of you are having a much tougher time than me. Trouble is I try to be positive, and on a good day I'm fine - maybe fooling myself - but that's ok, so long as I'm coping. I've had a run of bad days/weeks recently, and try to be upbeat but it doesn't half get you down. Sorry to whinge, but I've got some bug or other that won't bugger off. This seems to happen every few weeks, probably because my immune system is low or something. It's catch 22, because I feel weak, my 'usual', now manageable, symptoms flare, I get nauseus, lose weight (again!!!!), then feel weaker, and depressed. I'm trying so hard, too. And I see what others are going through, then feel even more crap because I'm so weak, mentally and physically, compared to most of you.

I think the waiting for some diagnosis - cos I KNOW I've got something!! - is wearing me down. How do you all manage to stay so positive and brave? I'm sorry to go on again - I just feel that everyone I know is sick of me saying how unwell I feel, and I don't think they really believe how unwell I feel!!

 

Anyway, sorry to be so self-indulgent (not like me,eh??). No doubt I'll be on top of the world next week, IF I bounce back. Bloody mood swings.

Jan. xx.


Broken wings can heal and mend again. Don't be afraid to cry your tears out loud. Everybody needs to have a friend. Wishbone Ash.

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Procrastinating
Stumbler

Jan,

To a certain extent, it's Hobson's Choice. You have to believe, or try to believe, that tomorrow will be a better day. What other viable option is there?

 

Whilst you have this condition (and don't worry about giving it a formal name!), it is affecting your role in the family unit, so the family are also affected.

 

We owe it to our family and work colleagues to put a brave face on it and force a smile. Otherwise, you become that miserable, depressive bugger!

 

Sometimes, it can be hard to maintain the brave face. Some days, it can all get a bit too huge and unwielding. But, you'll regroup your thoughts and the following day you'll have it more in perspective.

 

And that's the thoughts of a guy, whose presently going through a bad time, that woke up this morning with conjunctivitus, :wtf: just to keep things interesting!

 

:biggrin:

 

:moonieman:


John aka Stumbler (as I do fall over!)

Illegitimi non carborundum

 

"Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming... "Wow! What a ride!"

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angeltess

Hi John, I know you're right. That's why I admire your spirit. It just wears me down, I think, when after my bugs or whatever I get, my other symptoms always seem that bit worse; then I readjust, then it all happens again. I will try to get my positivity back. xx.


Broken wings can heal and mend again. Don't be afraid to cry your tears out loud. Everybody needs to have a friend. Wishbone Ash.

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Procrastinating
Stumbler

I think it was Nick that described this type of condition as a rollercoaster ride.............

 

:moonieman:


John aka Stumbler (as I do fall over!)

Illegitimi non carborundum

 

"Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming... "Wow! What a ride!"

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angeltess

Yes, and he's right. Just feels like my rollercoaster is going down, down, down just now! My 'normal' now is a thousand miles away from my 'normal' 3 years back. I do appreciate the good days/weeks more, so maybe it is a rollercoaster. xx.


Broken wings can heal and mend again. Don't be afraid to cry your tears out loud. Everybody needs to have a friend. Wishbone Ash.

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Hezza

Hi Jan,

Bad days are understandable, and allowed from time to time.

 

I used to fight it and beat myself up about being tired and miserable and useless on a bad day. The main thing I achieved by doing that was that I felt even more tired and miserable and useless.

 

Then, with a little help from some CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy), I realised that actually it was perfectly understandable that I should feel upset and miserable sometimes and that I felt especially so when my fatigue was bad. Now I treat it a bit differently. As soon as I realise it's going to be one of those days I accept it, give myself permission for one day, and chill - DVDS, choccy, magazines whatever hits the spot at the time.

 

More often than not one day does the trick and I wake up feeling much better the next day. If not then I take it a day at a time.

 

There's another thing that makes it much worse for me too - PMT :biggrin:

 

Take care of yourself :moonieman:


Life is short. Eat dessert first. Jacques Torres

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Nick

That's the trouble Jan............its a bit more than putting a brave face on it..........John made me laugh as I have just read his 'miserable bu****' bit...

Being able to get that balance between recognising that this is a day to 'leave alone' or the day when you do things. I get this wrong all the time!!! thats not good........but the days when you get away with in and 'achieve' are the days that build up your 'Gumption' The times that help build up the reserve you need to handle the bad days. The bit that always catches me out is in the mornings when I think 'Ah a good day' only to then find out very very quickly that my body says otherwise..........Much gnashing of teeth ! wailing and despair! Thats the dangerous place!!!!! It really is a difficult art and at least here we can be honest and allow our frustration to be expressed on the forum........... That old roller coaster is a big one and some of the hills are very steep.

 

Nick


Just another Warrior...........

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angeltess

Thanks Cara, you are right in that it's a knock on effect. I feel unwell and this sparks the low mood, then my mind runs away with me. Not having a diagnosis makes me paranoid at times. I think 'what if it's MS?', or 'what if it's TIA's?'; I sometimes even worry about brain tumours. I know these thoughts don't help, it's just difficult not to think the worst on a bad symptom day. Why am I dizzy/numb/twitchy/trembly/nauseus/itchy/always coming down with bugs?? The gps aren't overly concerned, and the months in between specialist consultations is shocking, as I just sit around getting worse! And that time of the month is definitely worse, symptom and mood wise. My rheumatologist appt is on 19th though, so once that's over, if my gp has further tests up her sleeve before my promised neurology appt, then I probably will go private.

 

And thanks Nick - you always give great advice. It's why I come on the forum so much - I vent my frustration here loads, which does help. I know I'm a drama queen at times, but I will learn to cope better, probably once I get a diagnosis of something!

 

I keep having these wobbles, but I will keep trying!!

 

Jan. xx.


Broken wings can heal and mend again. Don't be afraid to cry your tears out loud. Everybody needs to have a friend. Wishbone Ash.

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rosie-b

If you are able to feel like a drama queen, please enjoy this role. :moonieman: .

 

Good sense is talked here which is why I look in to learn from and appreciate other peoples knowledge, thoughts and experiences. I also get pleasure from reading other peoples strap lines. Yours and Nicks say it like it is.

 

Also It uses less muscles and energy to smile!!!

 

And in my case I like to think it hides the wrinkles!!!

 

Keep going. :biggrin:

Rosie B


Rosie B

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angeltess

Thanks for your kind comments, Rosie. I will try to keep smiling - it may help with my wrinkles too! You're right about the forum - and I think I try to be honest about my feelings, up or down, because if I want the best advice, there's no point beating around the bush, I suppose. And Nick is great (sorry to embarrass you again, Nick!!) - he gives excellent advice in a kind and gentle way, which is much appreciated when you're feeling vulnerable.

 

Thanks again, Jan. xx.


Broken wings can heal and mend again. Don't be afraid to cry your tears out loud. Everybody needs to have a friend. Wishbone Ash.

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Nick

Thanks people, I don't feel very helpful and still think to myself 'Who are you kidding' when I am down...but...............it all helps and that's what counts.

The best bit is being able to communicate with everyone......I reckon that is priceless and something I miss big time from when I was working all over the world.

MS is very isolating and sometimes even close friends mis-understand and place you in a category that may be 'sympathetic' but is more destructive to your own self esteem than they realise. .........................Anyway folks enough of that...I have my energy 'planned' for today and I am off to do something (anything) positive.

 

Jan, I'm in a 'Phillip Larkin' type mood today..........now his poetry really was honest!

 

Nick


Just another Warrior...........

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angeltess

Hi Nick, I love Philip Larkin - I suppose you're thinking of 'This be the verse' - I'll not recite any of it on here, for fear of being permanently banned for foul language haha. But if anyone wants to google it .... you probably know it - it's pretty famous. It's nice talking with people who 'get it' - poetry and symptoms!!

 

Jan. xx.


Broken wings can heal and mend again. Don't be afraid to cry your tears out loud. Everybody needs to have a friend. Wishbone Ash.

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