[Scully]

Hello All,

Some of you know that for almost a year, we had my step-son, Cllive's son staying with us as his Mother had thrown him out due to his drugs misuse.

It was really hard in the beginning, not just the fact that he was openly taking hard drugs, helping himself to some of mine which he thought may give him the same rush. But, also being an 18 year old lad, with all the anxiety and difficulties those years bring.

Several times I stopped and thought, hang on, teenage years?? Not great. At least he was working whenever he could as a labourer.

Sometimes Sam would show his caring side too. He would come in and immediately ask how I was, did I want tea, did I want anything doing. Showing, that underneath the youth/ drug bravado, he was really a caring lad.

But, we persevered with him, encouraging him to talk about his drug problem, still unsure whether he was just dabbling, or hooked. We discovered that he had tried everything out there with the exception of heroine. Even when I found the drugs, albeit in small quantities, in his room he would display the youth induced belligerence!

I found that Sam seemed quite happy to confide in me, maybe as I wasn't his actual parent, or maybe because I had worked with many teenage drug abusers during my time as a defence solicitor. Either way we made some progress.

He went with us to his GP, where he was happy to admit to his usage. He was referred to a youth drug unit and he attended when he could.

It was a tough time, not just for me, but for Clive, seeing his son on this apparent decline. But we survived it. And, fingers crossed, so has Sam.

Last weekend, his Mother had announced that one of her flats, was to be handed over to the children. Sam, and his two elder sisters, so he moved out. I'm not sure it's a great idea yet, with no one to help, encourage and support him, but, it was pointless to say no.

So, I'm hoping for a less stressed home environment. I will still worry about him, and have made it clear that I'm here should he want to talk, of arrive for a 'banging meal' ( his words! ) I'm here.

Oddly, although its only been two days, I quite miss him! I never thought I'd miss the crashing doors, wet towels and dirty washing on the floor, but I do miss Sam!

Funny old life isn't it?

Scully

[Hezza]

Hi Scully,
Here's hoping that things settle down a bit now for you all. I can't imagine how stressful the situation with Sam must have been for both you and Clive and it's understandable that you're still feeling unsettled about it.

Take care and try not to worry too much about how Sam is faring on his own. You and Clive have been a great support and got him this far. Fingers crossed that he doesn't stray off the path that you've set him on.

xx

[ptlike]

Well done you scully not many people would have entertained him. I hope he makes the right choices from now on but hey well done you.

Best wishes

Peter

[mustard]

Hi Scully,
I admire your strength in dealing with this situation. Here's hoping the time he has spent with you has given him enough resources of his own to deal with living elsewhere. At least he has moved out under good terms and it must be a big help to him knowing that you are both still there for him.
Mustard x

ps- I read this when you posted it and totally thought I had replied, seems I hadn't!

[PaulX]

Hi Scully,
You have done the best you could and it sounds like it has made a difference. I think as long as someone can differentiate between right and wrong then you stand a chance to help them from going down the wrong path.
As you have found out, there comes a time when they have to stand on their own two feet. Hopefully you made a good enough impression that he will continue to head down the right path. That is all we can do. With our own children, with others in our care or whatever.
It was good of you to take him on when you have your own issues to cope with. You get a big thumbs up from me.

Paul

[Scully]

Thank you everybody.

Your support means a lot.

I shall keep my fingers crossed that my step-son stays on the correct path.

Scully
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