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Trying to be positive

Still can't find the positive

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Trying to be positive

Hi

My name's Laura and I live in Canada. I was diagnosed with relapsing remitting ms in late 2004 after my daughter was born. I felt weird tingly sensations and I guess I should have clued in things weren't right when I spilled scalding coffee on my hand and didn't flinch. I don't think I'll ever forget sitting down with the neuro and being told mri suggested ms...I didn't want I to believe it so instead I went and bought a new (stupidly expensive) pillow convinced that my old one was the cause of my numbness...Clearly not the case! he head neuro in BC confirmed the diagnosis and advised that I go an as planned- have my family and after that get on to treattment. So I did. I had a beautiful baby girl in 2007 and breasted for 6 months. Then I stared taking REBIF. After 2 weeks of non-stop and unreasonable crying bouts I got off the rebif saterd taking happy pills and after getting stable resumed rebif. So here I am. I have numb days in my hands and TI know it could be worse and I guess I'm fortunate but I don't feel that way. Instead I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. To wake up with no use of my legs or with double vision or who knows what else. If I'm not thinking about tomorrow I'm thinking about 10-15 years from now and wondering what my life and the lives of my kids and husband will be like. Will I be a burden?? So this is what I desperately need - I need to hear from other people with ms who are experiencing the similar symptoms and how they're doing. I need to hear from you if you're doing ok and living with ms for years and still getting by day to day with little difficulty. I'm scared out of my mind. If I'm not worrying about my own health I'm worried about my children's. If my 3 year old complains of a sore foot I immediately question if it's ms. I just need to hear postive stories. Thanks guys

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Gaynor

Hi Laura and Welcome to the forum. I'm fairly new to MS myself in that I've only been dx'd 3yrs with RRMS and have relatively mild symptoms (in the scheme of things) at the moment. So I can't really answer your questions but I'm sure we all share your concerns and thoughts about the future and how we'll be in say 10/20 years time etc.

 

For me rather than going down the depressive thoughts of it progressing and putting me into a sharp decline I try to be as optimistic as I can (obviously some days are easier than others to do that) and all I can hope for is to try and aim for no worse (or only slightly worse) if possible!

Obviously nobody can tell what the future holds for each of us with this wretched disease and with children to worry about in a family yes that is hard to cope with mentally. I hope other members that are currently in the situation you are digressing about; will come along and be of more use for you and share their experiences.

 

Gaynor

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Jayneanne

Oh Laura

I read the posts back to front and you sound so worried.

First and foremost MS is NOT life threatening, so there is no reason why you shouldn't see your children grow up and produce grandchildren. There are quite a few grandparents here on the forum

Stress is known to exacerbate the symptoms and therefore it is in your own interests to lead a stress free existance and try to be as positive as you can - Ha ha easy for her to say! Try your hardest not to think of worst case scenario cos it probably won't happen anyway and you have done all thay worrying for nada.

There ia a lot of positive out there but sometimes it gets hidden and you have to go digging for it.

If you read over the past posts you get a general idea of the bouyancy of the people here, Yeah everyone gets bad days but they normally share them with the rest of the guys and they just don't feel quite so bad. But there are an awful lot of good days too. My Auntie was diagnosed with MS in her 30's, married with 2 young children, and in her 40's she was wheelchairbound. My Uncle died some years later. At 52 she joined a singles group and remarried a lovely guy from Poland. They spent a fab time together until sadly he too eventually died from a long term illness. She is now bedbound and my cousin Caroline looks after her at home. I spoke to her recently and asked how things were going with my Auntie and she said "She is the easiest of people to be with, if I am sad she brings me up, she is the most positive person I have ever met and still is fun to be with" My Auntie Pat is now 89 and going strong, maybe not physically but theres no stopping her mentally. Maybe she is a one off, but she certainly is an example to all of us.

OMG look at the time, I am late for school again. Bet I get told off - dead worried NOT LOL

JA XXXXXX


Jayneanne

We make a Living by what we get, we make a Life by what we give

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Heste

Hi Laura,

 

So you are looking for positives...

 

Well there are two types of positives.

 

1. Positives in life....See those short people you hang around with? Surely you can see that positive.

 

2. Positives in MS....Free parking! I assume you get that in Canada.

 

There are always positives, only sometimes they are hard to see.

 

In my case I get to do less manual labour :hairraising:

In your case you can train your kids to do the manual labour :rofl3:

 

MS doesn't kill you. There are plenty of things you could suffer from that would.

MS is not hereditory. Again there are plenty of hereditory diseases you could have had. So only having MS is a positive thing in itself.

 

Before I got my DX we have thought it might have been a brain tumor or a stroke. But no, just MS and here is your free car. :juggler:

 

Regards,

 

John :flowers2:

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Vegged Out
Shirl

Hi again Laura - I've come at your posts backwards as it were - typical me.

 

John's brilliant take on life helps, doesn't it? He's right you know. See those words below my signature? They are my mantra (or would be if I wasn't a Christian). John's a Buddhist. MS are often thinkers and sometimes it is hard to think positively so you have to retrain your brain.

 

My mantra does it for me...my mind wanders...I pull it back...on reigns, like a naughty toddler, come here you silly brain, come in line and do what I tell you to. Right, what's the next thing we were about to do...let's go and do it. Get the idea, Laura? :hippy:

 

And I am NOT diminishing your fears, just having some fun while I say, yes, been there too, dear friend. But there is another way.

 

And one day, I'll come on here full or misery and woe and you will be the one propping me up.

 

Take care, see you again soon



Shirley  "one day at a time"

 

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RedSonja

Don't worry about tomorrow. Let everyone else worry about tomorrow, it will come anyway. Carpe diem, as they say, "grab now".

 

Enjoy your family, love your kids, be kind to your man, spend time with your friends, keep doing things you like. You only have so much energy, use it for worthwhile things. Don't waste energy doing needless chores. Use the dishwasher, get a cleaning lady, do not iron bedsheets, use internet shopping, let the kid at the supermarket carry your shopping...

 

You have been looking after everyone else all this time, now it's your turn....


Bibo ergo sum

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Michelle

Hi Laura and Welcome to the forum :faint:

I like to think that, we as forum members show that there is a life after a diagnosis of MS. Unfortunately, it's not a life free from worry. It's only natural to worry about little ones, and what the future will hold for them. This is heightened, when your also dealing with a chronic illness. Surrounding yourself with positve people who can encourage you can help. However, it won't cure you, if your a chronic worrier.

Already there's been some wonderful advice and experiences given. What you do with that advice is totally up to you.

I'm also a christian, and I find that reading my bible helps me focus. I find myself often taking hold of my wayward thoughts, and putting them into my mental shredder. As a reg counsellor I also use techniques that I was taught in university and on various courses that I attended.

Laura, whatever your situation; it's important not to let your worries and concerns overwhelm you. Over the weekend I will try and put together some self - help techniques for fear/anxiety. I will then post them in the 'Body,Mind and Spirit section.

Regards

Michelle :hippy:

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MoJo

Hi Laura,

 

Snap, my MS also started with the fingers. Double snap, I also have a three year old, son, who is ever so active and very exhausting some days. Triple snap, I also worry about what it is going to be like years to come. My greatest fear is that one day, my relapsing remitting will change to primary progressive and I will find myself needing to use that disabled parking badge I have not yet applied for. This is wee reply to let you know that you are not alone with your concerns, and if you ever want to chat send me an e-mail.

 

Jo

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