Disruptive, abusive, insolent or attacking posts

[Marina]

The moderators and myself would like to remind all members that our Rules & Guidelines include:

 

- If someone says something that seems to upset or attack you, known as "flaming", please stop and take a deep breath and think about what you're responding with before replying; better still, sleep on it and it might be seen in a different light in the morning. It's all too easy to instantly react and retaliate and enter into personal conflict when one is feeling inflamed. Try not to react to what might read as a personal attack. This link is a useful article on "Avoiding personal conflict on mailing lists" and equally applies to forums.

 

- Any member who is found to be abusive, insolent or attacking risks being put on moderated status or banned. So please do consider the above before posting if you feel upset by somebody else's post.

This is to make it clear to ALL members that any posts that appear to be disruptive, abusive towards or attacking any other member, or which contain insolent remarks aimed at someone else, whether directly or indirectly, and/or which provokes another member into replying back, will not be tolerated. We want new and existing members to feel welcome and at ease here in our normally friendly, helpful and supportive atmosphere.

 

Hezza once said: "Healthy, respectful discussion and debate is great. The more information that's available the better, on every subject, but bear in mind that others may not necessarily agree and that they are entitled to their own opinion." This doesn't mean that you can't have "hot" discussions or that you can't disagree with each other or that you have to play happy bunnies at all times, but it does mean that discussions must be kept civil and friendly at all times. It also means you shouldn't try to enforce your opinion on others who may not share your opinion: that's tantamount to attack as the other person might feel belittled or insulted that you won't accept their opinion. Just accept that everyone is entitled to their own opinion and don't keep trying to persuade them otherwise, it's neither friendly nor supportive and won't get you anywhere.

 

If you don't know how to disagree with someone about something you feel passionately about, read the link above, it gives some good tips on how to.

 

Think of the old song: "It ain't what you say, it's the way that you say it; it ain't what you do, it's the way that you do it" and try to apply it to your posts. The written word can sometimes come across the wrong way as it can be very difficult to interpret the tone in which it might be said were it to be spoken. Additionally, inserting (too many) exclamation marks can come across as insistent, angry or pompous and arrogant, whilst too many "haha's" or "LOLs" etc can come across as flippant or cheeky in such discussions, and so on.

 

NOTE - If people can't adhere to the above, the moderators can - and will - act accordingly should attacks on, or snide comments about, other members occur. They can act likewise with posts which either might be, or are, intended to provoke such behaviour. All such moderator actions are final.

 

Thank you, from all on the moderating team.