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DizzyDog

Home Care Advice

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DizzyDog

Hi all - I'm not entirely sure where to start this query and I'll try to keep it as short as possible as it is quite long winded! But I am extremely concerned about my Mum's home care situation and have no idea if I'm right to be, or what to do about it.

 

My Mum has suffered with MS for 22 years and has been bed bound for about 8 years. For the past 10 years she has had home care visits (from the council home care companies) to take care of personal hygiene, food and medication needs among other things. We have had no end of problems in the past - one care worker from the first company, used to not show up for three/four days at a time, leaving Mum in a disgusting state (I was 13 at the time and the visits where scheduled for when I was at school so I had no idea). When this was uncovered, the care worked tried to bribe Mum with cartons of cigarettes and then lost her job. A later company, in 2009 (at which point I had moved out of home but was living locally) ignored huge warning signs of illness in Mum for two days, and took no action until they found her unconscious on day 3 - she ended up in intensive care on a life support machine for three months as she had pneumonia that her body couldn't fight. She also had a burn on the stomach that was the size my hand and swollen out like a balloon - I still don't know how that happened.

 

On coming out of hospital, a new care agency was sent as I wouldn't allow the old company back into the house. She has three visits a day to cook her meals, change her catheter and administer medication (along with anything else that Mum might need). Myself and my partner have battled with this agency from day one - the first visit resulted in double dosing her tablets as they didn't read her notes properly. Since then, there has been a grill left on over night, a tumble dryer over loaded so that it burned out and caught fire, two months of rubbish stored outside of my Mum's bedroom window, Mum fed raw meat (accidentally), and many more incidents that it would take forever to list. I issued a formal complaint and had a meeting with a director to discuss the issues and re-draft Mum's care plan to make sure I was happy. One month later, nothing changed - the director had left the company without evening reporting the meeting had taken place.

 

Anyway (sorry this is getting long now...) - there is one carer in particular I have a huge problem with. I should point out here that as far as the powers that be are concerned my Mum is of sound mental health (even though she has depression and is on medication for that...) I however, disagree strongly. I feel her judgements are impaired due to the depression, her memory is terrible - she will say something and then an hour later have no recollection of it. She will shout and scream at me one minute, saying the most horrible things you could imagine, then she'll calm down and genuinely believe it was me doing the arguing. She allowed my partner a motability car a few years ago, as he did all her shopping, collecting prescriptions etc - a few weeks later she phoned the car company and got them to cancel the insurance and revoke the car as she didn't remember agreeing to him having the car (even though we had to hire a vehicle to get her to the showroom to sign the agreement...)

 

This carer that I am concerned about, has a key to Mums house that she takes home with her (it is on her own personal bunch of keys) - even though there is a lock box on the wall outside the house with keys in for carers to gain access. She also has my Mum's bank card and pin number. She now does Mums shopping (at Mum's request) - even though Mum has diabetes, she buys her chocolate, sugar, donuts, cakes - all the things that are so dangerous for her! She allows Mum to have full control over her sleeping medication. She has now set my Mum up a facebook page, that she logs on to from home and various other locations to update her status - the page is completely unrestricted and shows Mum's home location and personal information.

 

This carer really dislikes me for some reason, she treats me like something she's trod on when I'm at the house - she gives met he most filthy look and will then act as though I'm invisible. She hasn't said a single word to be in several years. I am so worried about the level of access and control she has over Mum's life. My Mum and me don't have the greatest relationship, 22 years of her illness has taken it's toll on us - but I do understand it is the illness that has taken my Mum away and it would destroy me if anything happened to her. I am so worried that Mum views this horrible woman as a friend, not a care worker - there is no professional relationship left and the agency don't seem to care or keep tabs on what their employees are up to. My Mum is a vulnerable person, but as far as her GP and the care workers are concerned, it's up to her what she does.

 

Is there anything I can do?

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Ruby Red

Im sorry to hear your having problems, I've had my share of careers who try to run my life in the past.

 

Only advise I can offer is get a solicitor.

 

For this reason I have a living will expressing my wishes with regards medical, should i be incoherant my wishes will be followed first before family members or careers. My husband and eldest son also has Power of atorney documents for property and finacial, my youngest when 16 will also be put on these documents.

 

Hopefully this will prevent anyone but family have a say on my health and care plus no one but family will have access to finacial.

Apply to Social for personal payment for care that way you can interview and employe a person privatly rather than care agency.

 

Not alot of help I know but hopeful a few points of help.

 

Hugs Aims x


Edited by Ruby Red

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DizzyDog

Thanks so much for the reply - all your pointers are greatly appreciated.

 

We were on the road to getting a power of attorney when Mum came out of hospital in 2009 as back then me and my partner where doing everything for her, including taking care of finances (making sure bills where paid etc). For some reason, about a year later she suddenly and out of the blue told me not to help her anymore (she said she didn't want to be a burden) and handed all control to the carers. I don't think she'd agree to a power of attorney anymore and as far as I can tell, she's happy with the situation with her care worker - she doesn't see anything wrong and thinks I'm being unfair and cynical when I express concern over the level of trust she's placed in this woman.

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Sleepy
Scully

This is a really difficult and awkward situation for you, and for your Mum as well.

 

It's dangerous for carer's to have a key that they take home with them, if there is a key-safe outside, one has to ask why the carer would do this?

To have her bank account details, card and PIN is also, in my mind, wrong, I can see that your Mum will need access to cash, the only thing I can suggest here, that the bank alert you, as next of kin, if large amounts, over and above daily needs is withdrawn? May not be possible but I can't see any other way.

 

Facebook, unrestricted pages. Speak to Facebook ! I had my account stolen and taken over by somebody, and when I contacted he Facebook team, not only did they immediately cancel the page, but also managed to trace the 'hacker' via an IP address? And banned them from using that IP address to access Facebook at all. The practice of an unrestricted page on any social media page, contains personal details for a disabled, bed bound person is, in my own opinion, insane.

 

I can understand your very real concerns. I assume you've had conversations with Mum and pointed out the potential dangers, but I am also assuming that your Mum trusts this carer? If she does, I'm not sure what you can do, except contact a solicitor who specialises.

 

If your mum has diabetes, and this carer is buying her sweets and cakes. ( are they for Mum, or are they being used by the carer I wonder?

 

If it were me? Yup, contact a solicitor, go with a list of concerns, and have the solicitor write to the carer's agency, if no agency, then the carer directly. The letter would outline your concerns, with a mild warning that the practices being carried out are not acceptable to you, her family. The purpose is two fold. Firstly, it highlights concerns, which can be used at a later date, should something serious occur and secondly, it acts as a sort of 'warning' to the carer/agency, that you are all aware of what's happening, and that you are watching.

 

The very best if luck with it all.

 

Scully

x


They are not brain lesions..........they are just bright ideas

 

"The truth is out there"

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DizzyDog

Thanks for the reply Scully - first off it's nice to know I'm not crazy and my concerns are justified. Re the facbeook page, I've just managed to get Mum to agree to let me set up privacy restrictions etc on her profile, teach her how to use it and change her password so that only she has access. Phew - one less thing to worry about!

 

I like the idea about putting my concerns in writing to the care agency - as you say, at least then there will be a paper trail of what was going on should I need to escalate this further in the future.

 

On the food subject - as far as I know, the care worker who is doing the shopping also has diabetes (although type 1 not 2 as Mum has). It may be that she's not managing her diet properly and using Mums money to do it, but God I hope not!

 

I think I will send my concerns in to the agency and see what happens from there. If needs be, I'm more than happy to seek legal advice, the worry and stress is driving me insane - especially now I live so far away.

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cazza

I can't add anything more useful than Scully and co. but i would advise when you do your letters get a copy and send one to your local mp and one to the highest possible member of your local council,no matter how involved or not they may be. The local paper could be of some help too if you are not getting anywhere,they don't like bad press any anytime.,the more people that get to know about these appalling practises the better.

You stick to your guns no matter what,they are the ones employed to do a job,you are their customer,make them understand that.

Good luck with all this,stick with it,don't back down or let them intimidate you. You WILL gat there.

Cazza xx

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*A Christmas Carole*

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Christina

Hi from me

 

I think I might be tempted to get some advice from Social Services, as it sounds to me like your mum may be considered a vulnerable adult. Each local authority has formally agreed adult-safeguarding policies and procedures that are used by all agencies involved in protecting vulnerable adults.

 

If someone is concerned that a disabled person is at risk in their own home or the community, they should contact the local authority’s adult safeguarding team. Additionally, if there is concern about the quality of care provided by a nursing home, residential home or domiciliary provider, they should contact the Care Quality Commission.

 

I guess the other thing I'd recommend is maybe getting some advice from the Disability Law Service on

020 7791 9800 if you're in England or Wales. They run an advice line and can take on a limited number of cases, but they also have a specialist lawyer for MS, funded by the MS Society.

 

Good luck with this, it sounds very worrying for you.

 

Chris x

 

 

 

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Not waiting for the storm to pass, but learning to dance in the rain ....

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DizzyDog

Thanks so much for all the tips and advice - so many places I can contact I had no idea about! Thanks very much everyone x

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